make your muscles

when push came to shove

we pushed ourselves to pull our own weight

we bashed our brains to stay in love

and then fell short instead of trying to keep up

maybe loving is

i have arms to hold you up

i could never resist the temptation of moving mountains

but are they making moves on me

we tied our lies to our best friends

with intentions of picking up where we left off

we fail as men

please hold my head above the water

but i hold the ocean in my heart

what a miracle it is to be loved at all

maybe loving is but what more are muscles for

we fall short but let's try once more

First attempt at Redscale film

Anytime my brother comes to visit we always end up buying film together and talking about cameras and grand ideas we have for photos.  He always inspires me and encourages me to continue shooting for fun.  He continues to shoot with film even though the rest of the world is enamored by digital.  Film is just magical.  I know that sounds hokey but it's true I can't think of another way to describe it.  Developing this roll of film was the first time I have seen a physical print in my hands for years.  Holding these prints in my hands reminded me why I fell in love with photography in the first place and  how meaningful is it to have a portrait/print given to you by a good friend.  A good friend challenged me to combine my strength of empathy with my photography and asked me what that might look like... I'm not quite sure yet but I have some ideas.  :)  Film and physical prints will be apart of the process so stay tuned!

Also I will be posting some promo shots for my roomie Kelly Condron soon!  Here is a quick look of some in process:

keep away

it seems like anytime i voice my own opinion

try to tell my story

say something from deep in my gut

my face just gets hot and

turns the color of a tomato

like i'm not really sure of my

own opinion or

i'm scared of being shunned or

seen as unintelligent

since my words all come out jumbled and

my mind moves faster than my mouth can

keep up

by the time my mouth opens

the thought has

already past and

i've forgotten what it was

I was trying to say anyway

then my mouth stammers and

hates my brain for

not leaving it more clues as

to where it was going in

such a hurry

i think my mind was

running away from

my mouth

trying to hide before

my mind had a chance to

catch up

like a a cruel game of keep away

STOP!

SLOW DOWN!!

my mouth gasps and

gulps for air

ah fuck!

why do you always run from me mind!!!

you've got some good thoughts up in there!

I just want to see them and share a couple

...is that so bad?

Stop hiding everything before it has a chance to surface!

You’ve got good ideas.

Do i have to shake them out of you?

really,

I promise you do.

If you would just show me a couple of them i promise to translate them well...

you just got to give me time to process them

Otherwise

i'm going to be left out there playing charades with the lips

and you know they hate to do that...

somehow they always come out with a mumble or a slur

AND THEY HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN DRINKING

for gosh sakes!

Seriously

one of these days i'm going to catch you and

force you to spill everything that you carry around

in those filing folders of yours and

when that happens

i'll take your key and

unlock all the drawers of

all your filling cabinets

then maybe we'd be able to create something around here

We would make great collaborators

you and me

Seriously we could make some

beautiful things together

You just got to trust me and

trust the process

relax

you’re with a good friend

...that you would see beauty in the everyday

Lost Camera Cuteness

ten photogs

10 photographers worth studying... check em out.

free flow to prevent stickyness

"there is poetry stuck inside my soul and it wont come out"

this text can not be responded to with another

if you've got a voice in you

and everyone

i don't care who you are has a voice in them

even if they are mute

SHOUT

spit

sing

dance

punch

kick

scream

skat

yank

hook line and reel that sucker out!

with out the light of day

like a neglected houseplant

it will rot in the depths

of your soul and you will

wish 30 years from now

that you had had the

guts to scale the walls

of your inhibitions

break them down with a

sledgehammer like the

striking of a set

clear them out and claim your

souls studio space

once claimed and free of distractions

your soul can breathe clear

if your voice is timid drag it kicking and

screaming to the grand canyon of your

doubt and push if off that cliff

somewhere reeling on the way down

it will open its wings and learn to

fly but it wont learn unless

you give it permission and

we give others permission to live

freely by freely being

BElieve in YOUrself

your voice your story your life

is dying to break out of the

cool collected reserved shell of

shame and disesteem

golden beams of pure light

pierce through the cracks in your skin thin coat

yet you cover them for fear of feeling exposed

do you realize that you are robbing us?!

how dare you deprive us of

God's gift

through your uniqueness

stop holding yourself back

concrete dams are powerless to the hairline fracture

strategically placed with all the

energy and strength of a 10 point earthquake

packed with unlimited potential

to transport mountains with the sway of your hip

so shake those hips baby

and dance to your own song with

rhythm

a flow all your own

we need leaders with your moxie

to invite us to live

fully deeply

purely

Speak!

Poetry

April is National Poetry Month. Did y'all know that? In honor of this grand month I thought I would start speaking my mind a little more... or at least not edit myself so dang much and try free writing more often. So much has happened already in the few months we've been in 2011. Good friends have greatly encouraged me this year to stop holding myself back. They have told me that I am a good with words/writing or that they value what I have to say ... so i'm slowly starting to believe them. I'm going to try posting more things that interest me and write more too. For right now though here are some poems i've compiled over the last few months... Enjoy!

glitter

shiny metal bits

spreads like a deadly outbreak

grenade of all crafts

momentos

rhyme with no reason

the things we carry with us

an unending dance

chicago fog

pure white light soft cloud

slowly swallows skyscrapers

expand and digest

free beat

I want to be a beat poet

cause

baby! i want to feel

not fear these big feelings

and allow myself to live

freely

plus I like listening to conversations out of

context like

"yeah pirate stories and puppies"

heavy heart

What do I do with you?

What do I do with a heart so true?

I swear its like the size of a watermelon at least! and thats on a bad day.

You just handed it over. (Just like that.)

and I'm so scared to drop it for fear of smashing or marring its beautiful structure.

Babe its getting heavy and my arms are weak.

What if they give way?

What if it's not supposed to work this way?

What will we do then?

complementary my dear watson

I view the world in complementarys

vivacious oranges and soulful blues

tungsten bright bulbs and deep night hues

inspiration:

Are you living a great story with your life?

Are you living a great story with your life? from Donald Miller on Vimeo.

This book helped change the way I look at life. We are telling a story whether we realize it or not. Would you want to see yours on a movie screen?

The paperback for A Million Miles in a Thousand Years releases today. Check it out!

perspective

feel the fear and do it anyway

What has been tugging at you lately?

You know... that thing that if you get quiet and actually listen is calling you to immediate action.

You know you need to act but you are paralyzed.

The fear has seeped in. You've given it control.

Thousands of questions start a flood that is quickly overtaking you and you feel like anchors have replaced your feet. This dissonant chorus clouds your mind causing you to believe lies that everything will fall apart if you move an inch from this spot you desperately cling to.

What is this thing that scares you?

Maybe it's committing to one of your passions and actually following through. Fear says, what if I commit to the wrong one? What if I miss out on my other passions but only focusing on one? What if I fail? What if I find out it was a waste of time? What if I don't have the money?

Maybe it's sharing your voice and insight, sharing your story. Fear says, what if they don't get me? What if I have nothing of value to say? What if i'm rejected? What if I don't know how to be myself? What if my words don't come out right or I don't make any sense?

Maybe it's time to lead or take a leap of faith. Fear says, what if? what if? what if?

Maybe its time to ignore these "what if's". To feel the fear and do it anyway. What is it that is stopping you? What is it that scares you? If this thing that you fear is a good thing, something born out of love... then your should probably be doing it.

Let go of any fear that is paralyzing you and run after your God given passions.

If you can't run then just take a step. Baby steps toward action are way better than standing still paralyzed with fear. Forget common sense that tells your to protect yourself from the fear. Let go! Listen to that whisper that tug at the heart that God desperately wants us to act on. Start. Commit. Act. Even if it means making mistakes and dealing with set backs. At least you are moving toward something. Doors will start to open up, the fog will start to clear, and you will beginning to see all the possibilities as adventures to take instead of fearful unknowns. You'll start to feel alive again. You are bound to make some mistakes, it's all part of the process, part of learning. Mistakes make you stronger, make you better. In the end we are still loved, Thank God! So what have you got to lose? You have everything to gain. So get going!

:)